I'm detaching myself
From friends
From family
From everything i once had
I don't believe in myself
And i don't believe in people
I don't believe in relationship
Whether it is
Friendship
Family
Or Love
I've done that before
Being attached to someone
But then i've been left alone..
That struggle
I can still recall
I've done that before
Hoping they love me
And feel appreciated when i'm home
But then i've been left alone
For politics,
Name and all
I've done that before
Showing all the flaws
Believe that those will never make you go
But then i've been left alone
Hoping i could turn back the clock
Hiding my true self locked
For you it might be easy
To be close to anyone..
But for me,
It takes a lot of effort and energy
A lot of time and thinking
Just to start talking
Just to open up a little bit
Telling stories is no longer my hobby
I'll keep everything inside
And will cry when too hurt
I am not gonna let anyone know
Not gonna let me to find u
when i'm losing myself in disappointment
Because
I've done that before
Telling everything
Shared everything
Searching for u just for crying
But then,
One day,
U decided to no longer be there
U are not willing anymore to listen
No more time
No more space
And i've been left alone
Telling myself
It's ok
It is really ok.
But i'm not ok.
Series of depression
Episodes of unstable emotion
I drown into my own world
Keep telling myself to never believe in people
Including myself..
Series of delusional
Episodes of sadness
I lost reason to smile
I lost reason to be in the crowd
Silence become my bestfriend.
I'm still fighting.
Try to put some hope in me.
Yes, there are people who love me.
But still...
U hurt me countlessly..
Because, again it's me
Who let u to stab me.
It's me, who allow u
To kill me.
It's me, who make the belief
That u still care..
It's me..
